I stepped through the metal detector and out the door of the Burlington County Courthouse, savoring the dry, wintry air that was my reward for having weathered a morning of lines, forms, introduction videos, more lines, more forms, and waiting (oh the waiting!) for an invisible judge to decide that she needed more jurors for her trial. My coccyx forcibly reprimanded me for the hours of sitting as I looked around and attempted to take in the unfamiliar surroundings.
I took out my GPS and searched my bookmarks for a place to get lunch. The device locked onto the satellites, and at the top of the list returned to me, I saw High Street Grill, not a block from where I was standing.
If I had known that the courthouse was 200 feet from one of our favorite taverns ever, I’d have asked for jury duty sooner.
I crossed the street, entered the tavern, and took a seat at the bar, ordering a Founders Breakfast Stout to sip while I read the menu. I ordered the pulled pork sandwich. While I waited, I struck up a conversation with Mike, the friendly bartender. After I coaxed a taste of Southern Tier’s Phin & Matts Extraordinary Ale out of him (which turned out to be sort of a Saison but hoppier), I finished the last of my Breakfast Stout and ordered a pint of Founders Curmugeon. As he poured my beer, Mike pointed out to me that River Horse’s head brewer, Christian Ryan, would be having a little meet ‘n’ greet at the grill that evening to introduce Hopalotamus — River Horse’s new Double IPA — and an Oatmeal Milk Stout.
I texted Mel and told her that we now had plans for the night.
We returned to High Street Grill at about 7 o’clock and sat at a four-top near the bar. Mel started with the stout, and I started with Hopalotamus.
The best way I could describe River Horse’s Oatmeal Milk Stout is to call it assertive. This is a beer that, as soon as it gets within six inches of your face, tells you in plain, uncertain tones, “Ahm a big damn stoht, ya li’l Jessy.” A big blast of roasty chocolate and coffee aromas and flavors are coupled with a medium-heavy body and a smooth, milky finish. Coyly subtle figgy notes round the whole thing out.
I’ve said for a while now that American IPAs lack balance, for which people criticize me on the grounds that this is like saying that a particular brand of socks is bad because people keep putting their feet in them. I invite my detractors to take a sip of Hopalotamus. Behind a ton of Perle hops lies an entirely separate ton of caramel malts, both sets of flavors playing back and forth on each other as if to invoke images of Olympic table tennis. The sweet caramel, toffee, toasty malt notes accentuate the citrusy, grapefruity, piney hop notes, and vice-versa. Neither half of Hopalotamus can shine without the other. That, dear readers, is how you balance a Double IPA.
After finishing a plate of wings, a pulled pork sandwich for Mel, and an ostrich burger for me, I set to figuring out which back to slap for these two outstanding beers.
Head brewer Christian was nice enough to sit down with us for nearly an hour to talk about beer and brewing. A striking departure from most of the other brewer’s we’ve met, Christian was dressed in jeans and a hoodie, with short, messy hair, an unshaped beard, and hipster glasses. I’d be surprised if he’s any older than 35.
After complimenting him for the stout and 2xIPA, we talked briefly about the quickly fading hop shortage, which, in Christian’s words, “blew.” Christian also filled us in on some of River Horse’s plans vis a vis the Brewer’s Reserve. A promised huckleberry wheat was particularly enticing, as was the news that the Double White would become a regular offering soon.
Particularly intriguing were two small experimental beer batches that Christian brought to Kennett Square this year: a green tea ale, and a strange monstrosity called Honey Bunches of Ants, an ale brewed with Mexican black ants. The latter drew a long line of curious festgoers, who mostly described it as, “Huh. Interesting.” Christian himself said that it was just a silly experiment, but all three of us agreed that silly experiments are one of the greatest joys of brewing. It doesn’t have to be delicious, as long as you’re having fun doing it, but if you do end up with a happy accident (which is what Hopalotamus was), then all the better.
Mel and I swapped our journeyman homebrew stories with his expert ones for a while longer before the school night got the better of us and we headed home.
River Horse distributes throughout the mid-Atlantic and southern New England regions. I highly recommend anything you can find made by them.
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